I think I must truly be a bad person; I am so tired of causes ….. Salvation Army, Red Cross, Susan B Koman, Walk for the Cure, Relay for Life, Healthy Baby Walk, St. Baldrics Day, Poppy Day, Vidalia onion sale, Baseball candy ( OK I don’t mind that one so much ), and on and on and on.
I am not poor by any means, but I certainly am not rich. Every time I turn around there is another Cause to support, another donation to be made, and another time I have to take money out of my budget to give to a cause that I am not even sure what they do.
I know, most of you are saying… Well just write it off on your taxes. I don’t have enough to itemize so any money I give away, is gone. I have been hit up every week since Christmas it seems to donate to this cause or that. Who do you say no to? I have young Nieces and Nephews; they are trying to raise money for causes they believe in. They teach them younger and younger on how to get that hand out for donations.
I do it myself, I am on almost every committee for the Chamber I am active in, and I am always looking for sponsorships and donations. I know, you think you got me, but I am different, I ask and put the disclaimer on right away and say “Hey if you can donate, Great, if not that’s OK to” just drop “whatever it is” off at the Chamber office. I don’t even give them a chance to make an excuse because I know how hard it is to say NO when you really really want to, and the person just doesn’t seem to want to take No for an answer.
I know I know, they keep telling me to give of my resources or at least endorse the cause, and I just can’t. I know I feel pressed upon to give money and I don’t want my friends and colleagues to feel the same way because I didn’t just say NO. How will my friends and colleagues view me when I say NO.? Are they going to think I am the Queen of mean? I know I have several that think I am independently wealthy (ha ha) or because I don’t have a Mortgage that somehow that means I am rolling in dough, which sadly is not true at all.
Now I know you are asking yourself…. Why is she complaining about this NOW? It started with something Diane Sawyer said when I was watching the whole Boston Marathon Bombing Suspect Manhunt unfold, when they were talking about a person’s prized “Boat” getting badly damaged when they were finally arresting the suspect, Diane Sawyer said “Well I am sure the American People will replace his boat”. I thought to myself, why would we replace his boat? When did this become our responsibility? We have had wide spread flooding in the Midwest, am I supposed to buy someone a new house because their house flooded? Is everything a cause? If there is a tragedy, the call goes out for Donations to help. When did it become OK to ask for money every single time someone suffers a tragedy. I go to the grocery store and there are collection buckets for a butcher that has some dreaded disease and can’t take care of his family now. I go into the 7Eleven and there is more than 1 collection bucked for I don’t know what. Then let’s talk about the street corner collectors on the weekends. I think they have a turf war because I will see 1 group on 1 corner and several blocks down they are collecting for something else. Lastly you have the panhandlers that are everywhere people could be going in and out of. Always asking for money to get something to eat, but rarely say yes when you tell them you will buy them something to eat but not give them money.
How can you really “Support” a plethora of causes? I get inundated in my email and on facebook with people supporting this cause or that cause…. They are like “Cause” Junkies. Supporting a ton of “Causes” does not make you popular. Shouldn’t you pick 1 cause and stick with it? I would be more impressed if you picked a Cause and really dedicated time and effort to it because you believe in it, not because it is part of your job, or made you look important or popular.
So I am going to go on Cause Strike. I am supporting nothing; don’t ask me for money, time or resources, I am not going to contribute. Nothing for Cancer Research, Nothing for Jerry’s Kids, Nothing for the guy looking for a handout on the streets. Nothing, Nada, Zero, Zilch. If they happen to be selling something that has value and I can use it, then I am in. With 1 exception, I have a very dear friend, Kari-Ann B. Ryan, who every year raises money for Alzheimer’s. She does a walk; she does a bake sale, a vendor show and really puts tremendous effort because it has affected her family and has the potential to affect her when she is really old and gray. She goes the distance for this cause so I will help her any way that I can. So other than that, and my yearly donation to the American Heart Association, no one gets anything…. Does that make me a mean person? I think that maybe it does, but I can’t keep donating and participating in every cause that there is……. Or I will become a “Cause”
OMG What a slippery Slope
For the First time in a very long time I am conflicted…… Have you gasped in Horror? For those of you who really know me, you know that I am pretty clear on how I feel about a subject. I am not saying that I don’t change my mind if someone comes to me with a really good reason why they feel I should change my mind.
So what’s the Conflict you say? The Miss Universe Pageant. Now let me be perfectly honest and say I if I hadn’t had seen a posting on my facebook page I would be blissfully unaware of the controversy. Now that I am aware, I am totally conflicted. For those that are or were blissfully unaware, Jenna has had sex reassignment surgery. Yes that is right; Jenna was born with an XY chromosome combination and not a XX chromosome combination.
The female sex is defined as the one that produces the larger gamete (i.e., reproductive cell). The categories of sex are, therefore, descriptive of the reproductive functions that an individual is capable of performing at sometime in its life cycle. (Thank you wordiq.com)
So based on that very minimal definition Jenna is not a female and should not be allowed to compete. However, because of the complex nature of humans, science recognizes more differentiating factors.
So let’s start on that slippery slope
So on one hand I say “She doesn’t have the chromosome combination that determines sex” so she can’t be in the competition.
The other hand says “there are chromosome abnormalities that make a person no more or less male or female. There are cases of Chromosome combinations of X, XXY, XYY and XXX that make the person no more or less male or female as the case may be.
One hand says: “Too much reconstructive surgery to make him into a her, breast implants, butt implants, chemical peels etc”
Other hand: “It is rare for any of the beauty pageant contestants to not have had some type of surgery and most have some type of implants?
One hand says: “Pageant rules state that contestants must be naturally born as women”
Other hand: “what definition are we using? “ Also what about gender dysphoria (which is the persons belief that they are the wrong sex) there are many documented cases, and it really is more common in males than females
One hand: “OK so she isn’t a man anymore she is female, Big deal”
Other hand: “Really? So if you rebuild a Ferrari and use some smart car parts is it still a Ferrari?
One hand: “I want to compete, I don’t like their rules so I am going to get a lot of press and hire Gloria Allred to sue the pageant”
Other hand: “I got nothing on this one, the rules are the rules, and you knew it when you decided you wanted to compete, you should have asked that they be changed”
Ok so here are my final thoughts…… The pageant rules state a contestant must be a natural born female, and as Jenna Talackova has declared and established her identity as a Transgender female, then NO she should not be allowed to compete. She knew what the rules were, and if I am not mistaken, a natural born woman cannot compete in a Transgender competition.
I heard an interview with Donald Trump (who owns the rights to this completion) who said he wasn’t aware until a few days ago that she had retained a lawyer and that if he had known it was Gloria Allred he would have gone to court because she is very easy to beat. He also said however, that they looked at the laws of the competing countries and determined that if she passed their requirements to be declared female that they would allow her to compete and that they will be looking to make a permanent change to the rules.
Sooo I believe that is my final view on it…. However I am bringing the discussion to the dinner table tonight so someone just might get me to change my mind.
How many times in the day do you feel like that? Maybe you get thru a day or two without feeling that way, but sooner or later your perfectly planned schedule gets torn apart. Employer, employees, co-workers, husband, children, family and complete strangers, all of them can be your “Flying Monkeys”.
I know I have my fair share of “Flying Monkeys” and I will share them with you. Hopefully with a little bit of insight on how to recognize them and how to stop them.
Online….. Oh my goodness this can be the hugest black hole of time wasters ever. There are so many pretty things that can distract you. Video, pictures, music Oh My….. It doesn’t matter what website you log into it is there begging to distract you. So my recommendations for what to do in order to avoid some of the time wasters are:
- Have your web browser open up to a blank page. This way you don’t have that initial distraction. If you don’t want to do that, then just have it open to Google, although they sometimes sneak in a graphic or two on you.
- If you are in a social media site, set a timer. Give yourself an allotted amount of time and then exit.
- If you are online shopping, Go to Amazon and look for what you want, it will give you an idea of what the pricing will be. Then hit the stores you typically frequent and be done with it. If you normally don’t order online, don’t spend hours looking for the cheapest price and then head to the nearest big box store anyway.
At the Office……. There can be so many time wasters at the office. Chatty employees and co-workers, meetings, projects and the like. Just when you get in a grove someone will come in your office or cubicle and just start chatting away. So try the following:
- Shut the door, if you are in an office. If you are in a cubicle, put a not on the outside that says you are busy and cannot be disturbed. Make sure you point the notice out until people get used to looking for it before they come to your cubicle.
- Don’t answer the phone if you can help it. If you have the ability to see who is calling determine if you can let it go to voicemail.
- Chatty co-workers/employees are great, they really are, but they need to be limited. If you are on a time crunch or really involved take the moment or two and tell them so. Most times we interrupt our schedule because we don’t want to be rude. It is not rude to tell someone you are busy and that you will come and find them when you are done, or ask them to return at a particular time.
At Home…….. This is probably one of the hardest places for me to avoid the “Flying Monkeys”. Everything can distract me. The TV, the dogs, the family, and millions of other things are begging for attention. I can understand it, I have been gone every day to the office, I get home in the evening so there are only about 4 or 5 hours before everyone is asleep myself included. Precious little time is really spent at home enjoying everything.
- Schedule certain tasks for certain days, and make everyone aware of what those tasks and days are. For instance, I do laundry on Sunday. I need that washer and dryer to be free, because honestly I don’t want to finish anyone else’s laundry before I start mine.
- Have a calendar designated for all family functions and personal functions. In my house we call it the Family Fun calendar. I mark off on that calendar what days I will not be home in the evenings. Others write when they are working extra shifts, or are racing or teaching classes. This way it is easier for us to plan around peoples schedules.
- Do not turn the TV on if you have something that really needs to get done. TV is the quickest way to waste time. You are vacuuming the family room, Hallmark channels is on, next thing you know 90 minutes later you are turning the vacuum back on to finish up and now you are 90 minutes behind schedule.
These are just some of the ways you can avoid the “Flying Monkeys”. There is however only 2 “Flying Monkeys” you should never avoid and to be perfectly honest with you, they are the only 2 that you should drop everything you are doing and let the “Flying Monkeys” catch you and distract you but good……. Children and Pets. Children grow so quickly and do not understand housework or laundry or the need to sleep. Spend as much time with them as you can, crawl on the ground and play with them. Just enjoy their joy and innocence because there will come a day that you won’t be able to do that. Pets, they love you just because you are there. When they want to play, stop what you are doing and play with them, or pet them. Those moments you spend with them make up for all of the hours that you are away from them.
Let me state this very clearly, this does not apply to Law enforcement agenies or the Military.
Yes that’s right; I think all guns should be banned. No one should have a gun. Gun violence is getting out of hand everywhere, not just in this country. I think if you get caught committing a crime with a gun, you go to jail and you never come back out. I have the right to speak out freely on my desire to see all guns banned as it is for those that want to keep guns. Having said all of that, I know what I want is unreasonable and impractical. Banning of guns will never happen.
So let’s discuss guns for a few minutes and how dangerous they really are. Oh please all of the gun supporters and NRA members, don’t flood me with messages about how guns don’t kill, it is people that kill and if I feel that way, then we need to get rid of knives and cars and a plethora of other things that are used to kill. I don’t want to hear about the Constitution and our right to bear arm. Personally I like the one about the Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness, and I think that is way more important.
So let’s be practical, I just don’t think anyone really “NEEDS” to have a handgun. Give me 1 good reason why you need a handgun. Before you say for self protection, wouldn’t a shotgun be a better choice? Many people can’t shoot the broad side of a barn with a handgun at least with a Shotgun you are going to hit something, a lot of something’s. I think that’s pretty good protection….. So is a guard dog and he can keep your feet warm on a cold night. Let’s see a gun do that. Ahhhh now you are going to say Hunters….. Hunters don’t “Need” hand guns. Shotguns for a hunter are impractical also, they spray shot all over the place and honestly the animal suffers and I don’t want to see that. So I think a rifle is OK for Hunters ONLY. That’s right, you have to actually HUNT in order to purchase a rifle and you have to get a hunting license every year and prove you are actually hunting.
So I say we ban anything that is not a shotgun or a rifle. That’s pretty easy, oh I hear the wheels turning out there, and you think you have me…… Well someone can take that shotgun or rifle and use it to kill someone etc…. Well here is the thing, they are pretty big items, and are harder to conceal than a hand gun, so I think if we were more alert we could run away, or call the police before it became a huge problem. We could also paint them all Neon Pink or Green or Yellow, make it a lot easier to spot.
Now let me state this very plainly so everyone understands. There is absolutely NO Reason whatsoever that ANYONE, and I mean ANYONE “NEEDS” an assault or tactical rifle. I don’t think you should have any type of gun that shoots more than 2 bullets with 1 pull of the trigger. OH and I do realize that assault / tactical rifles are used in a very small percentage of murders In the United States, but when they are used, way too many people are killed or injured at the same time. You just don’t NEED one, No one should Have one, and nothing you say will convince me otherwise so don’t even try.
So I am thinking Shotgun = Protection (although I still like the dog idea) Rifle (Hunter). All others should be melted down, and production stopped.
OK so I know none of that will never happen, but let’s get real people, how many more innocent people / children need to die before we do something. We really do need to get it under control. So here are my guidelines for Gun Control, any politician that may read this, please go ahead and call it your own.
- One fully functioning gun per person.
- You and everyone that lives in your home must know how to load, unload fire and properly secure your gun at all times, and must be certified and recertified every year.
- If you have a history of mental illness, you can’t have a gun.
- If you live with someone that has a history of mental illness you can’t have a gun.
- If you are not a citizen of the United States, you can’t have a gun.
- If you wish to collect guns, they cannot be fully functioning. Whatever makes them work must be removed and surrendered to the police.
- If you want to carry your gun around with you, you must pay a very large licensing fee in order to do that.
- If you commit a crime with your gun, Go to Jail, go directly to Jail. Do not pass Go, Do not collect $200.00
- If you are on any kind of welfare or charitable program, you can’t have a gun.
- If you are unemployed for more than a year, you cannot have a gun.
- If you are not a high school graduate, you cannot have a gun.
- If you do not volunteer or participate in community service projects, you cannot have a gun.
I think that should be good for now. So to all of the zealots out there that wave the constitution stating they have a right to “Bear Arms” I say, I have the right to “LIFE, LIBERTY and the Pursuit of Happiness” and in Laurie’s world, that is done without guns.
When did it become Politically Correct to be rude and inconsiderate? I normally go about my business, I hold doors for people coming in behind me, and I walk a little faster to get to the door first for an older person or a Mom with a stroller. I don’t mind doing these things; this is how I was raised. What I don’t understand is when did the population as a whole stop being nice to each other?
We just finished with the whole holiday season, you know that season when everyone was supposed to be nice to each other, peace on earth and all that. I never ran into so many rude people. It’s not just the cutting in line and the pushing and nudging, I can kind of understand that. It is the rudeness in general.
It doesn’t matter age, race, culture it is getting worse and worse. The shopping plaza by my house has the normal types of businesses, grocery, drugstore, craft store, pizza parlor etc. I cannot believe how many times I go to the grocery store and someone has made their own parking spot. That’s right, I have seen them pull up to the stop sign, shift it into park and walk away. I have tried politely saying something, but I am sure that I would need a dictionary to translate what they said.
I so love those that are waiting for someone to come out of the store and block the lane and won’t move. Even when you gently tap on the horn, they look at you and flip you off.
OK while I am on a roll, how about the 15 items or fewer lanes at the stores. Can’t you count, and No 15 yogurts do not count as 1. Heaven forbid you say anything, because you don’t know anything and have no business saying anything.
I do feel sorry for the clerks, and cashiers in the stores. They can’t say anything, or they would get in trouble, so I say something for them. It’s the best I can do for them.
Kids are probably the worse; they are rude to everyone, even their own parents. They run thru the stores screaming and yelling. They push and shove and don’t care what havoc they reap. I have a particular way of dealing with them….. Should I tell you? I probably shouldn’t and I can’t even take credit for this one. This came from my brother in law. When you are walking in the store or the mall or what have you and you are carrying a purse on your shoulder or you are carrying bags, when the kids are just beasts…. Hit them with your bag or purse…… “OOOOPS did I just hit you with my bag? I am so sorry”. I do have to admit that I have quickly pushed my shopping cart out so they run into it when they are running up and down the aisles in the stores. Is that bad of me?
It’s not just the strangers that are rude, family, friend acquaintances; it is like an epidemic of rudeness. It is actions and words and tones. Sometimes I sit and listen to people and think to myself that if they were talking to me like that I would probably lose my mind.
I don’t know what the solution is, but I will tell you that I have and will always call someone out for being rude. I suggest you do the same, I really think that we need to go back to practicing the use of good manners. It is more than just saying please and thank you. It is being on time, keeping your promises and being concerned about someone other than yourself.
So if you hold a door for me, I will say thank you. If I hold a door for you and you don’t, I will yell you are welcome.
So you have a project and a deadline…. What do you do…..? What Do You DO?????? If you say you jump right into it and get it done, I say you are either a big liar or you are a far far better person than I will ever be.
Typically deadlines are daunting, Face it the word Dead is in it, what’s more scary than that? I decided as a kid that Deadline told me what I would be if I didn’t get whatever it was that I needed to do done. You already start out on a negative. Many people fool themselves into thinking that they need to do something in a certain way in order to get something done. I know that I used to be that way. I used to have to follow the same pattern over and over again when I did a project. Many times my delays would force late nights and a ton of stress as I miscalculated what needed to be done and I was busy getting things in order before I actually start working on a project.
I did craft shows for years, ask my girlfriend, the night before the show I was frantically finishing up a bunch of stuff to take to the show, not that I didn’t have enough, but what if I ran out????? Oh and don’t talk to me until after we are all set up, because if you try to talk to me, I will snap your head off.
Frankly, I work much better under pressure and that’s the prime reason I am a Busy Person. I keep myself busy and occupied so I continue to get things accomplished. Long ago, I used to do it all myself. Someone would ask me if I needed help and I would say “Oh No thanks, I have it all under control” or “I got it covered” Those are probably the 2 of the worse things you could ever say.
I see Road Blocking all the time. A lot of my friends are champion Road Blockers. You offer help, they say NO. You offer to take some of the load, they say NO. At the end of the day, they are frazzled and not really enjoying life anymore because they are blocking themselves and preventing themselves from just getting things done.
Mary Poppins says: “Well Begun is half done”. Once you finally start a project if you dedicate the time it requires you will find that you are almost done, and when you get back to the project it won’t take any time at all to finish.
Once you have a project assigned to you or you assign one to yourself, take the time to list everything you need in order to complete the project. If you need information from someone, email them or advise them that you need them to complete the task for you. Give them a time limit to get their response to you; there is nothing worse than waiting on something that someone needs to give you because they are Road Blocking themselves.
I have this great friend who Road Blocks all the time. When they complete the project they are working on it is a masterpiece but it is so painful to watch them struggle against themselves. They Road Block by not giving themselves deadline, they give themselves goals. They over think a project until it becomes a much larger project than is required. They assess high importance to low importance items and vice versa.
Fortunately I am now great at managing myself and my projects. I surround myself with people that I know will help me out if I need the help. I used to be a do it all yourself kind of gal. I used to be the kind of person that would spend 2 days looking for the perfect binder clips to be used for my project. The perfect pens, paper, etc. You know how it goes, drown yourself in the little details and then if you fail to complete the project it really isn’t your fault now is it?
I decide how long I think a project will take me and then schedule accordingly. I allow myself a 5 to 10 minute break per hour of actual work. This allows me to get up and walk around, or distract myself with something else while I am working on my project. I also allow myself to jump to another project if I suddenly have an idea. For example, when I am working on a project and I suddenly get a great idea for a tweet or something else for my marketing efforts, I pause what I am doing and quickly get the thought down.
So get your project in order quickly, it shouldn’t take you longer to get the project started or planned than it takes to do the actual project itself. Remember if someone offers to help, you say Thanks and accept the help.
” When you do the things you need to do when you need to do them, the day will come when you can do the things you want to do when you want to do them”
When did we stop doing our jobs properly? When did we stop caring about the quality of our work? It can’t be because I am Management, it seems I am only Management when it is convenient to people. Something doesn’t work…. It falls on me. Something needs to be done and no one wants to do it….. It falls on me.
If you follow my blog by now you know how I am. I am dedicated to doing the best job possible. I was raised that way. Thomas Carlyle said “A fair day’s wages for a fair days work”. When did people stop? My Father and Mother were hard workers, as were their parents and their parents before them. My ancestors came to the United States from Poland, Sweden and Norway. My Fathers grandparents settled in Minnesota and became farmers. My grandfather was a farmer. My Mothers grandparents settled in Chicago. My Grandfather worked in a factory, and he ran a little bootleg beer during the depression to make sure his family ate and had a roof over their heads, ( the only illegal thing my Grandfather EVER did).
My father worked at any jobs that he could once he left the farm. He served in Korea, and settled In Chicago. He worked for an Automotive Spring Manufacture for years, until he found a job closer to home that paid more money, he then became a bathroom and kitchen cabinet maker. The company was small, and all the cabinets were made by hand. He did side job, after side job to earn extra money. My mother was one of the smartest women I knew. She worked as a nurse’s aide for as long as I can remember, don’t tell anyone, but she never graduated High School. She would knit and crochet for hours and sell whatever she made to the ladies at the nursing home. Later on when she was unable to work anymore and the plastic canvas craze hit, she would make and sell those for extra money.
The economy was tuff in the 70’s, far worse than we have it today. My father was working 2 or 3 days a week. We didn’t qualify for food stamps, there were no bail outs and when Unemployment ran out, it ran out. My mother found her first job as a nurse’s aid working nights so she would be home to get us off to school and be there when we got home. I graduated from grammer school in 1975, my dress was borrowed and my mother saved her lunch allowance to buy me flowers on my graduation day. She had $5.00 and walked into Hills Florist ( near my home ) and told the man behind the counter all she could afford was a $5.00 bouquet and did he have anything in that price range. He loaded up flower after flower until she could barely hold it, and charged her $5.00.
I started working at an early age, my father would get open paper routes and we would go out at the crack of dawn on Sunday and deliver the news papers. I remember lying on top of them in the car and handing them to my brother and sister as they threw them out the window. We did whatever we had to, in order to put food on the table and keep a roof over our heads. I held a paper route; I started babysitting every day after school when I was 10. I got my first full time job at 18, and started college. My mother needed me to quit school and help with the bills at home so I went to work full time for a bank. I made and sold ceramics, and crafts for years. I did craft shows and had booths in various craft nook type stores. When my friend stopped doing it, I could no longer keep up with the demand and was forced to quit.
I have worked hard my whole life, always had a second job or something more to do than just what was “normal” for most people. I volunteered whenever I could. Now I work a stressful full time job, I volunteer for not for profit groups. I am a Team Leader for a Meetup Group, and heaven help me I am trying (with the help of others) to get an innovative small business off and running.
People say I am an over achiever, they claim I love to work 24/7. I say NO, I am doing as I was raised to, get the job done.
I have a strong work ethic, I come in early, I stay late, and I get the job done. I look at others and they don’t have the same ethic that I do. They come in when they want to, the leave when they want to. They moan and complain when they have to actually DO something. We have the unique position when we can be called out of the blue to do something. We never know when it may happen, it just happens. We had an equipment malfunction over the weekend, and the on call person was very casual and said “Well if they needed something I would think they would call” and proceeded to hand me the malfunctioning piece of equipment for trouble shooting. I asked one simple question, “Did you turn it off and turn it back on again?” The answer was “NO”. Seriously? I am furious and they are nonchalant about it. Even the boss was surprisingly nonchalant. I think it is because there was no crisis over the weekend and it was slow. I would like to think that he isn’t that nonchalant. I don’t get treated like the underachievers. I am expected to do what I do, and be responsible for what they are doing or in most cases NOT doing.
So Do I care too much, Do I work too hard? Should I go against everything I believe in and stop doing my best? What is the worst that can happen? What would they say if I said NO, I am not troubleshooting whatever issue they have this time. Sigh….. I just don’t know. I may try it one of these days, that’ll show them.